Hi, I’m still me!
OK, I tend to shy away from word feminist these days because it’s grown to be associated with man-haters. As a heterosexual newlywed, I am obviously not a man-hater. But in the purest sense of the word, I am a feminist. And as a married woman, there is something that really gets my goat: being referred to as Mrs. Matthew Mahoney. Or getting mail addressed to: “Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Mahoney.” NOOOOO!!! No, no, no! NO!
Something about that is offensive. It’s like complete loss of identity. One of the reasons I initially wanted to keep my last name is because I couldn’t stand the idea of being referred to as “Mrs. Matthew Mahoney.” I have a name, you know. I am still the same person I was a week ago, when I was legally single. I am not a silent shadow that follows Matt around. I’m not going to quit my job and wear an apron and have dinner on the table for Matt by 6 o’clock sharp.
I’d like to see this practice completely abolished. You can send things to “Matthew and Kristine Mahoney” or “The Mahoneys” or even “Kristine Munroe and Matthew Mahoney.”
Filed under My Life, marriage |6 Responses to “Hi, I’m still me!”
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I think Matt should change his name too, you can both be Munroe Mahoney! Or go for a combo, the Munroneys!
you go girl!!! totally agree!!!
As you know, I’m a fan of the name change you took…and I find Mrs. John Smith (or whatever, insert man’s name here) to be 110% prehistoric. So is “I now pronounce you MAN and wife” instead of “husband and wife”. LOL, how about “I now pronounce you WOMAN and Irving”?
;)
This is one of the reasons I’m reluctant to change my last name. It feels like a loss of identity. If anyone calls me Mrs. Johnson, I’ll say, “Oh, you must be thinking of my mother-in-law.” :)
That’s how I feel too. I also don’t like “Mrs.” MS. please!
You took the words RIGHT out of my mouth. I have been married for one year now and still have yet to change my name. I had indicated on my marriage license (when they ask you what you will go by after marriage) that i will be Myfirst Mylast Hislast (I basically made my maiden my middle name now) - however I haven’t done anything legally to make it so.
There are the sticklers for ‘tradition’ who insist on sending us mail to “Mr and Mrs Hisfirst Hislast” which REALLY gets my goat just like you said. I don’t mind if people call us “The Hislasts” or “Mr and Mrs Hislast” (though I prefer Ms to Mrs as well)…
Everyone keeps saying “oh but it will be so confusing! what about the (yet to be conceived) children someday?!?”
I find that argument complete bunk because there are numerous divorced families out there who have different names than their kids and somehow the school manages to figure it out. I really don’t see it as an issue.
So - one year later - I can say that the ONLY problem with having different last names has been filling out the customs/immigration forms when flying to a new country. Instead of having the benefit of only having to fill out ONE form per family (One form per last name) - we now each have to fill out our own form because we don’t have the same last name.
Big deal!
Rock on with whatever makes you happy. I’m just always so glad to see someone who has the same feelings on this that I do. My friends don’t comprehend it.