Things I don’t understand
A list I had been compiling in my head of things I simply do not understand…
- Family Circus…how as that been around for so long? Does anyone read and enjoy it? WHY is it so unfunny???
- Toilet paper dispensers that only allow you to get one square of toilet paper at a time.
- Bars that don’t let you have a glass of tap water and force you to purchase bottled water for $2. $2 for water?! GASP! I’d rather drink from the bathroom faucet!!!
- Ranch dressing on pizza. BARF. Sacrilege, I say!
- Those who honk their horns during a traffic jam. What do they think that’s going to accomplish?
- Televised poker, although I guess people watch it. Matt likes it.
- How and why Rhode Island began calling milkshakes/frappes “cabinets”.
- Why sweet, unhealthy cereals like Trix, Lucky Charms, Cocoa Pebbles, etc can be considered breakfast.
- Stirrup pants!! I’m glad those aren’t in style anymore!
- Tough guys with MOM tattoos. They make me giggle.
- Bathtub Madonnas. They creep me out. And I’m half Italian!!!
- Soap on a rope…I enjoy it for novelty purposes, in fact I own a lovely Snoopy soap-on-a-rope, but do people really use it? If so, what do you do with the rope? Does it go around the shower head? Do you hang it around your neck?
- Large ice cream portions. I like Cabot’s, but even the smallest ice cream I can get is way more than I can eat. Nobody needs to eat that much ice cream. The worst part is that I’m so cheap that I feel obligated to eat the entire thing and I battle with some abdominal discomfort shortly thereafter.
- Our neighbors from when we lived in Watertown who left their Christmas lights up year-round but never turned them on around the holidays.
- Tootsie Rolls: what are they? Wikipedia says they are “are one of the best selling candies in America and throughout the world”…but I just can’t figure out what they are! They claim to be a “chocolatey chew”, but they don’t taste like actual chocolate to me…they taste like the artificial chocolate scent found in Bonne Bell Lip Smackers!
- Uncrustables!
- How Ernie Boch Junior could possibly have such an annoying commercial and still stay in business. (Ditto on Bernie and Phyl’s and Bob. )
- Fortune cookies that don’t give fortunes. “You love peace” or “You have a kind heart” are NOT fortunes, man!
- That creepy vacant FACES building on Rte. 2 in Cambridge…anyone know the story behind that? Why is it still there?
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OK, I’ll do some of my own:
- Why does Mitt Romney think he could possibly be a Republican nominee for President?
- How do people actually get started playing Jai Alai? (sp!?)
- Why doesn’t the Green Line get updated?
- Who really, actually, names Ben & Jerry’s ice cream flavors?
- What does unmarried Paul Allen’s will look like?
- How much money do the NASCAR drivers actually *personally* make?
- How can they work the cow poop back into the land so it’s safe for the cows to graze on THAT grass so quickly?
- Are cats smarter than dogs?
- Why aren’t short-distance electric cars that go 35 mph available a hundred years after we had short-distance electric cars that could go 35 mph?
- How smart are fish?
- Do pistachios comes from anyplace but California?
- Why is it so hard to get a dang DVD or CD package open?
I’ll stop now.
:)
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I like to read family circus. I also love watching poker on tv… it helps my game, actually. I guess you have to really like poker to like sitting in front of the tv watching it for a few hours.
Honestly, I also like dipping my pizza in ranch dressing sometimes. Depends on the kind of pizza sometimes, though. :-D I know, I’m wicked gross. I’ll be the first to admit it.
Good question about the DVD/CD packages! They can be seriously dangerous!
You crack me up…want to know what I will never understand. The clamshell package. I always slice my hand on that.
While I’m at it, I will never understand a man.
I will never understand why guys and girls can’t just be friends? (ala the age old when Harry met Sally argument?)
And why beer through a straw tastes different than from a can, bottle or draft.
HAAAA. Can you tell I’m in a weird mood?!?
Back about 10 years ago, there was a Family Circus comic one Sunday that actually made me laugh out loud. I kick myself for not cutting it out of the paper, because now I’ve totally forgotten why it was so funny!
Haha, it sounds like it must have been a once in a lifetime thing!
OK… let me do my best to put your mind at ease… partially.
I always heard that Rhode Islanders call the Frappe/Milk shake a “cabinet” because that’s where they store the blender.
Yeah, I never liked the explanation either. I’m not sure if it’s true or just someone making fun of people from RI.
But I’ve also wondered about that Faces building. My guess is that it just went out of buisiness and there’s probably some wrangling over zoning.
That Faces building gives me the heebie jeebies. Hasn’t it been vacant for about fifteen years?
Awesome list! But if you live in west newton like me, you better get used to those bathtub madonnas! I’m half Italian too; I don’t trust ‘em either.
Off to work on my list now…
That’s quite a list of stuff!
Isn’t a bar required to have free water or something? Because alcohol dehydrates? I wouldn’t pay $2 for bottled water either.
Also, Steven had this old nasty soap on a rope that someone gave him as an Xmas present a few years ago. He had it with some other stuff and he wanted to use it!!! In our shower!!! I made him throw it out. :P I’m not using cracked, age-old soap on a rope! Ew!
I love you, Krissy! This is the best list ever.
I’ve often thought about publishing something with all the ridiculous fortunes I’ve received: rain makes the grass grow. Yes, it does, and I learned that in second grade. I did not purchase Chinese food to learn that.
I think bars should legally be required to have free water. Harper’s Ferry does not. It made me so mad…especially because we had been dancing and stuff. I thought of purchasing a bottle water at Store 24 and sneaking sips of it in the bathroom.
And “rain makes the grass grow”…that’s not a fortune at all! >:-[