Things I don’t understand

A list I had been compiling in my head of things I simply do not understand…

- Family Circus…how as that been around for so long? Does anyone read and enjoy it? WHY is it so unfunny???

- Toilet paper dispensers that only allow you to get one square of toilet paper at a time.

- Bars that don’t let you have a glass of tap water and force you to purchase bottled water for $2. $2 for water?! GASP! I’d rather drink from the bathroom faucet!!!

- Ranch dressing on pizza. BARF. Sacrilege, I say!

- Those who honk their horns during a traffic jam. What do they think that’s going to accomplish?

- Televised poker, although I guess people watch it. Matt likes it.

- How and why Rhode Island began calling milkshakes/frappes “cabinets”.

- Why sweet, unhealthy cereals like Trix, Lucky Charms, Cocoa Pebbles, etc can be considered breakfast.

- Stirrup pants!! I’m glad those aren’t in style anymore!

- Tough guys with MOM tattoos. They make me giggle.

- Bathtub Madonnas. They creep me out. And I’m half Italian!!!

- Soap on a rope…I enjoy it for novelty purposes, in fact I own a lovely Snoopy soap-on-a-rope, but do people really use it? If so, what do you do with the rope? Does it go around the shower head? Do you hang it around your neck?

- Large ice cream portions. I like Cabot’s, but even the smallest ice cream I can get is way more than I can eat. Nobody needs to eat that much ice cream. The worst part is that I’m so cheap that I feel obligated to eat the entire thing and I battle with some abdominal discomfort shortly thereafter.

- Our neighbors from when we lived in Watertown who left their Christmas lights up year-round but never turned them on around the holidays.

- Tootsie Rolls: what are they? Wikipedia says they are “are one of the best selling candies in America and throughout the world”…but I just can’t figure out what they are! They claim to be a “chocolatey chew”, but they don’t taste like actual chocolate to me…they taste like the artificial chocolate scent found in Bonne Bell Lip Smackers!

- Uncrustables!

- How Ernie Boch Junior could possibly have such an annoying commercial and still stay in business. (Ditto on Bernie and Phyl’s and Bob. )

- Fortune cookies that don’t give fortunes. “You love peace” or “You have a kind heart” are NOT fortunes, man!

- That creepy vacant FACES building on Rte. 2 in Cambridge…anyone know the story behind that? Why is it still there?

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