Sarah Palin on the cover of Newsweek

We got the latest issue of Newsweek in the mail the other day, with an EXTREME close-up of Sarah Palin on the cover. I didn’t pay much attention to the cover, but as soon as Matt saw it he pointed out, “She has a mustache.”

Look, I’m half Mediterranean, so I fully sympathize with women who have facial hair, but I thought it was absolutely hilarious.

And a quick Google of “sarah palin newsweek mustache” will bring on plenty of laughter. Enjoy.

Catloaves

The definition of a catloaf is as follows:

Catloaf (n): when a cat sits with all four paws tucked under the body, thus resembling a loaf of bread.

A simple Google Image search will bring up the following:

And by far the most disturbing:

Marital Rating Chart from 1939

My score: 5. I’m particularly guilty of the cold feet thing. I don’t wear “hose”, but if I did, it’s likely the seams would be crooked so my score would probably be a 4.

Boy, oh boy am I glad Matt didn’t see this checklist prior to marrying me! He sure would have changed his mind then.

Funny signs from when I was in China…

They had recycling bins everywhere in China. I was very impressed.

And that is where you disposed of non-recyclables.

In Xian! Look out!

At the hotel’s breakfast buffet in Xian. I had some of the “chedda”…it left much to be desired.

In case you can’t read the first line, it says, “You’re in an enviable position.”

That was in the hutongs of Beijing.

Mmmm…cholotate!

At first we were hesitable about the cheesecake, but then we decided to seek out these 50% off cheesecakes. As it turned out, they didn’t have any.

Is that man-chicken logo a little creepy to anyone else?

At the Shanghai Maglev.

They had Red Bull everywhere in China, but they also had this knock-off energy drink: Red Oxen.

Fun!

Refreshments at the Jin Mao building in Shanghai.

And the fish sure were happy!

A great deal for deformed man.

Exit that-a-way!

Poor Lolcat

A traumatic experience at Dunkies

Check this out from Universal Hub…

Some guy confused his coffee with mine at Dunkin’ Donuts this morning. In order to make sure he got the right one, he took a sip out of mine, and said, oops, wrong one. Then he took his and left.

YUCK.

Meow meow meow meow…

I was just watching this on YouTube:

And this user said:

I eat meow mix constantly put like 3 cans in a bowl put it in the microwave for like 1 30 seconds. take it out and put ketchup and mustard on it.Sooooooooooooooooooooooo good. OMG! I love it. And you can dip chips in it.

Oh, yuck!!!!

My favorite silly joke

Q: What’s brown and sticky?
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Scroll down for the answer…
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A: A STICK!!!!!!!!!!!!! HA!!!

OK, now share YOUR favorite silly joke, please!

Because who doesn’t love hearing stereotypes of their own ethnicity?

I can’t take credit for this, but I sure can relate to it!

You know you’re Italian when….

Your grandparents are Nonno and Nonna.

You eat Sunday dinner at 2:00.

On Christmas Eve you eat only fish (and usually of the stinkiest kind!)

“Fuhggettaboutit”

The Godfather is your role model

You love Nutella…anytime…

Your nonna’s meatballs are the best

You always dress to impress

Favorite movies: Godfather, Goodfellas, Bronx Tale, The Last Don… and you live by them.

Guys gotta respect their women…or else!

You’ve been hit with a wooden spoon or had a shoe thrown at you by either your mother or your nonna.

Pasta, pasta, pasta everyday.

Your father owns 5 houses, has $300,000 in the bank, but still drives a 76 Monte Carlo.

There’s a mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant and travel agent in your family.

A high school diploma and 1 year of Nassau Community College has earned you the title of “professor” among your aunts.

You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners.

Nobody in your family grows beyond 5′11.

There were more than 28 people in your bridal party.

You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion.

30 years after immigrating, your parents still say “Pronto” when answering the phone.

At least one of your relatives has a bathtub Madonna.

Your house is made of brick, brick, and wrought iron.

Half the women in your high school class went to Beauty School.

You talk with your hands.

Most of your relatives are named Joe or Mary.

Your grandfather had a fig tree.

You prefer red wine over white.

Your family is LOUD.

Your father or nonno always wore an undershirt around the house.

You feel strangely comfortable when you sit on plastic-covered furniture

You know all the words to “That’s Amore”

You are offended when the wedding you attend serves less than 9 courses despite the fact that you don’t eat half of it.

You think having a concrete backyard is nice.

You think having swans in a big fountain in the front yard next to the veggie patch is tasteful.

At family functions, you are swarmed by elderly relatives you don’t know kissing your cheeks.

You actually believe everyone eats those sugared almonds in the bonboniere at your wedding.

You always have a friend who ‘owes you a favor’.

Pannetone or biscotti makes a healthy breakfast.

You’re proud to be Italian - and you pass these jokes on to all your Italian friends!

BBQ RULES

This was forwarded to me by my mom, and it cracked me up to no end. I can totally relate! Sound familiar, Matt?

BBQ RULES

We are about to enter the summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity, as it’s the only type of cooking a ‘real’ man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine…

(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.

(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

Here comes the important part:

(4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine….

(5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

Important again:

(7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine….

(8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dis hes.

And most important of all:

(10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed “her night off.” And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s just no pleasing some women….